On Struggling

Or how to get what you want by not wanting it

what is the greatest lesson a woman should learn

that since day one

she's already had everything she needs within herself

it's the world that convinced her she did not

— Rupi Kaur

I had lunch today with one of my favourite fellow WiFi Tribe members. We were a couple stories up, there was a nice strong breeze, and we could see the turquoise blue ocean beyond a sea of palm trees and fuscia flowers. It was such a good reminder of how absolutely, incredibly, mind-blowingly fortunate I am to be living here in this tropical paradise.

As we were watching the ocean, we saw one of the bright orange ferries to Cozumel dangerously close to shore, struggling against the strong wind. The waves were choppy, and each volley pushed the huge vessel closer onto the reefs. Its engines were at full bore and you could see huge jets of white, frothy water being thrown into the air. And yet it seemed to be losing the battle

Dang if that's not how I've felt these past couple weeks. Besides an overbooked professional and social calendar, there's also just an unlimited number of experiences to have here, and a very limited time in which to have them. The FOMO is real, people! Not to mention this amazing chapter has already started to disband (we love you Gabby!) I myself leave in just over a week which is nuts.

As much as I was hesitant to join this chapter, I'm even moreso to leave these people and this town which I've come to love; and to join another group of strangers in a new place. I have no doubt that I will find a new normal there, but I feel like I am still struggling to find that here.

But maybe that's it, though: maybe it doesn't need to be a struggle.

I was listening to the WiFi Tribe Podcast today and the guest said something interesting: at some point early on in his travels, he was in Morocco, and was talking to another tribe member about how he was struggling to achieve freedom and to be able to live the life he wanted. The other member replied: "Look around you. You're in Morocco. Aren't you already free?"

I've been going back and re-listening to Alan Watts lectures. One recently resonated with me, he said: people feel like they need to seek out whatever it is that they are looking for -- when in fact, the paradox is, you've already got it; and the harder you seek, the harder it is to find.

Stoicism echos this with the concept that as long as we are seeking happiness, we will never find it, because happiness is not "out there" as some goal to achieve, it's "in here" as a state of mind and a way of accepting our circumstances.

Or in the metaphor of New Age, as long as we are focused on our present as "lacking" something, we are not attracting abundance, but more lack.

They're all different ways of saying the same thing: we are best able to live a rich, joyful, abundant life by being grateful for our present and accepting whatever comes our way -- both the "good" and the "bad".

I personally need this reminder like, all freaking the time. I spend 80% of my energy focusing on the 20% of my life that I wish I could change, rather than on the 80% of my life that's already absolutely perfect.

Because it is perfect. Just as it is, warts and all. Right here, right now. Everything is as it should be.

So say we all. ❤️