On Floating
Or how to stop worrying about the future; accept things as they are; and ride the waves of change without drowning
Que será, será
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que será, será
I apologize for my last post. I'm not proud of it — it definitely didn't reflect my best self. And more than that, I spread negativity in an already-stressful time. I've deleted the post online but I can't take the email back out of your inbox. So I'm sorry; I hope you will forgive me.
Yesterday afternoon, I moved an hour south down to Tulum, Mexico. Being here, I can't help but feel like I am seriously one of the most fortunate people in the world right now. I'm in a beautiful place with supportive friends and still have my well-paying job. This is honestly one of the most amazing periods in my life.
It's also one of the most uncertain periods.
For example: I don't know how long I will be able to stay here or if I'll have to move again next week; I don't know how long I'll have my current client or if I'll have to look for work next week; I don't know how long there will still be flights out of the country or if they'll close the border next week; I don't know how long there will still be peace here or if I will get kidnapped next week; I don't know how long I'll still be healthy or if I'll get sick next week.
See the pattern?
Life is amazing today, but I can't scry even a week into the future. I mean, I get that sometimes there are forks in the road of life that are difficult to see past — that's sort of part of the fun of it. But to have so many foundational aspects of life be so completely upended so quickly for so many people on such a global scale — it's not only difficult to predict what's next, it's been driving me downright nutty just trying.
Last week, an elderly Greek gentleman opened a restaurant next door to where I was living. (Talk about timing, eh?) I asked him what he thought of “things”, and he used a phrase that I'd never heard before:
"Qué pase lo que tenga que pasar."
A literal translation would be "What will happen is what should happen." At first glance it seems similar to "Qué será, será" (“What will be will be”), but there's a subtle significance about how the future unfolds. It's a sentiment of accepting our situation as is because as is is how it needs to be.
If you've ever floated on your back in the ocean, then you know that it takes a certain frame of mind to keep from sinking — a mental lightness, if you will. As soon as you start worrying about floating, you stop floating. But if you relax, and just let go, you become a part of the ocean and ride up and over the waves rather than have them overwhelm you and — worst of all — get water up your nose.
All that to say, from here on out, I'm going to do my best to stop wasting energy trying to figure out what the future holds; to accept things as they are regardless of what's to come; and to relax into the waves of change rather than struggle against them. I figure these are all skills that take a lifetime of practice, but seriously — could you imagine a more perfect opportunity to learn and grow?
❤️ Conroy