[Day 24/99]
A sun shower came out of nowhere this afternoon. For about four minutes it dumped heavy, warm raindrops. Then it disappeared just as suddenly. It left behind an astonishing sunset.
Today was my second day of SCUBA certification. We worked on lots of emergency situation drills: what to do if your mask comes off, what to do if you or your dive buddy runs out of air, what to do if you're eaten by a shark. Just kidding about that last one.
It's one thing to read about these procedures, or watch the online videos. But when you're under water and you're supposed to swap regulators, remove and replace your tank, or flood your mask and actual salt water is stinging your eyes?
I very often have trouble reconciling an idea or concept with the actual thing in real life. Sometimes I wonder if I'm dain bramaged. Or maybe I've spent too much time with technology. Or maybe I'm just in my head too much.
Ok yeah no I'm definitely in my head too much. Here's an actual transcription of my thoughts when I was diving today: "Wow look at those fish! Amazing! But meh, the documentaries look better than in real life. My ear feels weird am I going to lose my hearing. I'm floating at a weird angle ugh I suck how can I fix this. Focus, pay attention, be in the moment, this is a unique opportunity and you're wasting it. Crap have I forgotten to breathe? Never stop breathing or your lungs will explode. Calm down. Hey look at that pretty coral! Oh no I think I'm sinking I'm getting too close to it I'm definitely going to hit it. Better inflate a little bit. Crap, too much. I'm floating up. I'm definitely going to get the bends. How much longer are we going to be down here. Why are you even doing this if you're just going to ask when it's going to be over. Oh hey I think I'm getting the hang of it. Oh shoot no nevermind. Haha look at that funny-looking fish!" When you're underwater, panic can be deadly. As much as it's hippy new age to do hashtag #justbreathe, seriously: just breathe. Slowly, and deeply. If you listen to your anxiety you'll only make things worse.
Everything is ok. You've got this.